True Blood is Back in 2 Weeks: Why I Wanted to Slap Sookie Last Season
True Blood. Mostly what happened in the season finale last year and why Sookie irks me, but I still can’t resist the show.
Let me begin by saying that I didn’t just jump on the vampire bandwagon with Twilight. I was an avid fan of the Little Vampire series as a little girl and grew up to enjoy every vampire novel written by Anne Rice. Then, vampires were not hot stuff like they are today, but Anne Rice certainly created the most human (and charming) vampires in literature and that’s why I loved her literature.
I first watched True Blood Season 1, then ventured out to get the books. For me, the books are nowhere nearly as well-written and plotted as the series, so I prefer the latter. The best part of the show was once again the human qualities that the vampires possessed. The handsome actors didn’t hurt the storyline either. I loved where the story was going last season; both vampires were falling for Sookie. Exciting!
For Sookie however, I have a few words, because she ruined it:
You have two hot and passionate vampires who are clearly in love with you even though a blind pilot could fly a plane between your front teeth. They would give their eternal lives for you and even agree to share you, yet you dumped them both.
What did you do that for you crazy bitch?
Do you think a human will ever put up with your strange temper and PMSy attitude AND be as amazing as either Bill or Eric? The answer is no. So what if you want babies? Go adopt some or alternatively, find a hot guy to donate some sperm. Easy peasy.
You cannot choose. I have an easy solution. Remember how you enjoyed yourself a bit too much when they both fed off of you? Imagine 100 times that feeling? Now wouldn’t that be a life worth living?
What do I mean?
Let me break it down for you, you lucky, innocent moron:
You go back to them before some other gap-tooth fairy snags them away and tell them exactly this:
“After further consideration, I’ve decided we will try a threesome and see how we like it. If it goes well, you can both be mine.” They would be shocked and probably aroused and you would turn the tables. They no longer claim to own you. You clearly own them. That’s it, that’s all. Do what you feel is right sometimes; it might be good for the mental issues you’re gonna have after spattering Debbie’s brains in your kitchen.
I may be an audacious jackass and have no vampires falling at my feet, but I do have a few humans and I can easily say that I have a lot more fun than you ever will in your fictional world. However, if you decide to lose the “I’m an angel-fairy and I’m holier than thou” attitude, I will not want to slap you as often and you will lead a less stressful and more fun fictional life.
I’ll see you in a couple of weeks, although you won’t see me.
P.S: No hard feeling about the gap-tooth stuff. If you hadn’t dumped them both, I would have never brought it up.
I seriously am the worst. My downfall -which appears to most people as procrastination- really is starting 60 million projects at once. I had to attend a wedding, throw a party, but I also am working on a business plan so that I can make more money, attempting to quit smoking, sending the first few chapters of my novel out (and being forced to revise the damn thing-not that it wasn’t about time.) and of course drawing more stuff for the comic. See, I can’t even write a sentence without sticking other sentences within it.
I think perhaps it’s a combination of my adult-onset (and self-diagnosed) ADHD (due to excessive web browsing) and undeniable genius. Oh and let’s not forget the importance of keeping a healthy dose of narcissism at hand to ensure that one doesn’t spiral into the depths of the abyss that is depression. Why? Well, let’s just say that it keeps you happy with yourself, even though you have hardly achieved anything substantial so far and have squandered your gifts to the inability to focus on them one at a time. A shame really. And I thought so too.
Then the internet, the very place that was my Kryptonite showed me a way to get myself out there. I needed to share. I needed to be heard. Most of all I needed to create.
So , I’m sorry that it takes me a long time to update, but I’m trying my best to get better at this being my own boss thing. I’m learning a whole new way of thinking while I’m building this business plan and I hope the same change will effect the way I see things through.
P.S: Knowing that someone’s reading (outside of the few friends who know) and to see your comments would be great encouragement too.
So, I got sick, not a 100% yet, but here’s is my comic creating process nevertheless:
I first sketch the rough concept, then re-sketch cleaner (I’m just starting the use the non-photo blue pencils for this step) and ink the drawing using a variety of Faber-Castell PITT artist pens in black.
Third step is to scan again and adjust the scanned JPEG file in Photoshop to get rid of unwanted marks on the page. Next, I open this same file in Illustrator and do a custom live trace. This quick process cleans up the scan and allows me to colour now with the live paint tool in Illustrator.
As expected after the illustration is traced, I colour it. If I want to add shading, the next step would be to open the file again in Photoshop and shade it using colour dodge and burn tools and my Wacom tablet. Then, back in Illustrator, I create background and/or add the speech bubbles. The last two steps are typing the text and saving the file once again as a raster file to be posted on the website.
The longest and most arduous part of the project actually is getting from rough draft to the final inked copy. Once the digital steps kick in things move much faster.
Today’s comic is also a more detailed drawing. It’s sort of a cover for the pending new chapter. Tomorrow I will also post a sequence of the process I use to create my artwork using this panel as an example.
Chapter 1 - Planet Earth and the Strange Habits of Its Destructive Apex Predators
Are you ready to meet the cast of narrators? The first narrator will be an intergalactic hippie with unusual super-powers.
Hang in there. There will be more story less intro in a couple of panels. Well, this is a philosophical comic, so expect philosophy and bashing of pop-culture and our man-centric society… Yes, neoterism is one of my hobbies, so I will make up words as I please, but I promise they will not be gibberish.